Vampires in the Night Manifesto

My people,

I know that most of you are good, moral people.

But it has recently come to my attention that there are people out there, people who are weighing us down as a society.

Vampire people.

It is an anecdotal historically known fact that immoral people are vampires in disguise. Vampires of the night.

In Imperialist China, a Hebrew saying was recited every full moon:

Fulcrum Vampire Exultation Telusmobility

Now we have the true origins of vampires simplified before our eyes.

Here’s how you can avoid Vampires of the Night:

• How to identify a vampire: Identifying factors not known yet
• How to kill a vampire: Unknown; experts are still trying to determine whether they can die, and whether they are alive
• How to keep safe: …

I hope you find this information useful.

Until next time,

Stay safe, stay alive,

Toad