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	<title>Warptweet.com</title>
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	<description>Bad Advice for a Good Time</description>
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		<title>3 Things You Can&#8217;t Afford to Do</title>
		<link>http://warptweet.com/3-things-you-cant-afford-to-do/</link>
		<comments>http://warptweet.com/3-things-you-cant-afford-to-do/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Oct 2011 08:00:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Warptron</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life & Lessons]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://warptweet.com/?p=6</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Let&#8217;s face it, there are things in life that we just can&#8217;t afford on a regular basis. After 50 years as a Wal-Mart shelf stacker however, you may be graced with a once in a lifetime experience. The only requirements for this is that you don&#8217;t eat, work three jobs, and invest in risky but [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Let&#8217;s face it, there are things in life that we just can&#8217;t afford on a regular basis. After 50 years as a Wal-Mart shelf stacker however, you may be graced with a once in a lifetime experience. The only requirements for this is that you don&#8217;t eat, work three jobs, and invest in risky but potentially high-return stocks.</p>
<div class='title'>#3 Stay in the Burj Al Arab&#8217;s Royal Suite</div>
<div class='img-wide'><img src='http://warptweet.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/001_burjalarab.jpg' alt='Burj Al Arab, Royal Suite' /><br />I wasn&#8217;t aware hotel suites had grand staircases lined with gold.</div>
<p>The Burj Al Arab is the spitting image of excess, greed, and luxury. The Royal Suite has a grand staircase (pictured above) which leads to a set of bedrooms and washrooms, that will also make you depise every millionaire on the planet. If you are an overprivileged douchebag who has inherited a monstrous trust fund, you have the option of taking a helicoptor to the top of the fantastic hotel. Like Tiger Woods has done before, you may also consider having the heli-pad converted to play some sky high golf.</p>
<p><strong>So how much will it cost me?</strong></p>
<p>A four day&#8217;s stay at the Burj Al Arab will cost you around $110,000.00. Have fun stacking those shelves at Wal-Mart!</p>
<div class='title'>#2 Take a Vacation Out of This World!</div>
<div class='img-wide'><img src='http://warptweet.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/001_virgingalactic.jpg' alt='Virgin Galactic Space Plane' /><br />Which country is going to prosecute me if I murder someone in sub-orbit?</div>
<p>If you want to take your significant other on a vacation that is out of this world, now is your chance! Get onto one of these fantastic planes built by the forward thinking company Virgin Galactic, and you will get a fantastic 6 minutes of weightlessness. During this period, you will be allowed to leave your seatbelts, wreak havoc, and possibly murder someone just to see which court will try and prosecute you. I&#8217;d like to take this time to mention that your 6 minutes of weightlessness is accompanied by a 3.5 flight, in which you do nothing but sit down in your seatbelt and pretend you&#8217;re having fun.</p>
<p><strong>So how much will it cost me?</strong></p>
<p>This beautiful, out-of-this-world experience will only cost you $200,000.00! That&#8217;s only $952.38 per minute! That&#8217;s only like, 17.5 years of rent!</p>
<div class='title'>#1 Rent a Country</div>
<div class='img-wide'><img src='http://warptweet.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/001_rentacountry.jpg' alt='The Country of. . . ROFLCOPERLAND!!!' /><br />I hereby proclaim this country to be named. . . . ROFLCOPTERLAND of <strong><em>DOOM</em></strong>!!!!</div>
<p>As a child, I dreamed of being overlord of a massive kingdom and to command mighty armies. Now, you can fulfill half of that demand by renting the entire freaking country of Liechtenstein. The country features a beautiful landscape, rich with green forests, castles and fortresses. With a little extra cash, you have the ability to do anything from carving logos into the mountain snow and creating your own temporary currency.</p>
<div class='img-wide'><img src='http://warptweet.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/001_onemilliondollars.jpg' alt='Official Currency of the Kingdom of Warptweet' /><br />You totally know you would.</div>
<p><strong> So how much will it cost me?</strong></p>
<p>For a short week of being a fake ruler, you can rent Liechtenstein for as low as $500,000. For any kind of addons or special features like renaming streets, adding banners, holding ceremonies, or creating currencies, you can expect that price to easily double.</p>
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