3 Things You Can’t Afford to Do

Let’s face it, there are things in life that we just can’t afford on a regular basis. After 50 years as a Wal-Mart shelf stacker however, you may be graced with a once in a lifetime experience. The only requirements for this is that you don’t eat, work three jobs, and invest in risky but potentially high-return stocks.

#3 Stay in the Burj Al Arab’s Royal Suite
Burj Al Arab, Royal Suite
This is not the lobby. This is the suite.

The Burj Al Arab is the spitting image of excess, greed, and luxury. The Royal Suite has a grand staircase (pictured above) which leads to a set of bedrooms and washrooms. If you are a white overprivileged douchebag who has inherited a monstrous trust fund, you have the option of taking a helicoptor to the top of this fantastic hotel. Like Tiger Woods has done before, you may also consider having the heli-pad converted to play some sky high golf.

So how much will it cost me?

A four day stay at the Burj Al Arab will cost you around $110,000.00. Have fun stacking those shelves at Wal-Mart!

#2 Take a Vacation Out of This World!
Virgin Galactic Space Plane
Which country is going to prosecute me if I murder someone in sub-orbit?

If you want to take your significant other on a vacation that is out of this world, now is your chance! Get onto one of these fantastic planes built by the forward thinking company Virgin Galactic, and you will get a fantastic 6 minutes of weightlessness. During this period, you will be allowed to leave your seatbelts, wreak havoc, and possibly murder someone just to see which court will try and prosecute you. I’d like to take this time to mention that your 6 minutes of weightlessness is accompanied by a 3.5 hour flight, in which you do nothing but sit down in your seatbelt and pretend you’re having fun.

So how much will it cost me?

This beautiful, out-of-this-world experience will only cost you $200,000.00! That’s only $952.38 per minute! That’s only like, 17.5 years of rent!

#1 Rent a Country
The Country of. . . ROFLCOPERLAND!!!
I hereby proclaim this country to be named. . . . ROFLCOPTERLAND of DOOM!!!!

As a child, I dreamed of being overlord of a massive kingdom and to command mighty armies. Now, you can fulfill half of that demand by renting the entire freaking country of Liechtenstein. The country features a beautiful landscape, rich with green forests, castles and fortresses. With a little extra cash, you have the ability to do anything from carving logos into the mountain snow and creating your own temporary currency.

Official Currency of the Kingdom of Warptweet
You totally know you would.

So how much will it cost me?

For a short week of being a fake ruler, you can rent Liechtenstein for as low as $500,000. For any kind of addons or special features like renaming streets, adding banners, holding ceremonies, or creating currencies, you can expect that price to easily double.

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